I Do Judo

My promotion has been a long time in the coming.

Much too long in fact.

I have been nestled in the bosom of my fair maiden Japan since August and just only this past week has my inspired brilliance and general perspicacity received the recognition that it rightly deserves.

I naturally assumed that after a month of working as a teacher I would be invited to be principal of the school. At first I would play coy and politely refuse their offer, as is the Japanese way, but after a second bout of pleadings and threats of hari-kari by teachers and students alike I would ascend to principaldom as so befits my lineage. Much to my dismay, these dreams of grandeur have proven elusive.

However, as of this week I am no longer just Tomu, English Teacher Extraordinaire, but have been also preferred to the post of Judo Throwing Dummy. After making the hesitant decision to join my school's judo club, I found that I have quite a knack for being tossed into the air and landing with a thud. My judo sensei was quick to notice my adeptness at soaring Concord-like at the hands of my opponents and so invited to partake in gym class with my first-year students.

Working with the first-year students was actually a nice change from working out with the judo club. The club comprises two members, one weighing in at 200 lbs. and the other at 250 lbs., both of whom are blackbelts. Needless to say, my efforts to knock either of these boys down is akin to using a swiss army knife to hack down a giant sequoia. The first-year students, on the other hand, have had only 3 hours of judo training and weigh about half of what the club members do. In other words, I got to lay a smackdown on my students on the school's time. Pretty nifty, eh?

Anyhow, after two weeks of practice my body and every muscle in it is in a considerable amount of pain. As most people don't know what judo looks like, I found a video on YouTube to illustrate what exactly it is I am doing. Enjoy: